finding dory, jenny, charlie, forgetful, goldfish, memory, bad memory, forgetful

I’m more forgetful than you

Me: I was going to tell you something…

You: What?

Me: I can’t remember.

You: Right.

Me: I’m just so forgetful.

You: I remember NOTHING.

Me: I go into a room and I think…

You: ‘What did I come in here for?’

Me: Every day. That is my life.

You: I walk around the house holding my keys, shouting –

Me: ‘WHERE ARE MY F***ING KEYS??’

You: I open the fridge and I just think –

Me: ‘WHY?’

You: I mean, I have no idea.

Me: Don’t ask me, I don’t remember what happened yesterday.

You: Did we even have a yesterday?

Me: I don’t know, I can’t remember.

You: Someone asked me where I last went on holiday and I had to look at Instagram.

Me: I wouldn’t have remembered to do that.

You: My boss was like, “How was your weekend?” And I just thought, “Errr…hello – are you drunk? How should I know?”

Me: I don’t remember where I was half an hour ago.

You: I left my dog outside Sainsbury’s for two hours last week.

Me: You have a dog?

You: Apparently.

Me: I don’t even remember if I have a dog.

You: I don’t know – do you?

Me: I mean, I might.

You: Perhaps my dog is actually yours?

Me: It’s not impossible. Did I leave it at your house?

You: I don’t know, did you?

Me: What’s its name?

You: That’s an absurd question. It could be anything.

Me: What would I name a dog if I had one….

You: I forgot my mother’s birthday.

Me: I wouldn’t know my mother’s birthday if I were about to be torched like a witch and they said, “Remember your mother’s birthday and you go free.”

You: I’d be like, “Nope, it’s gone. Arrrgh, arrgh, the flames!”

Me: Well, obviously.

You: How do we even know each other?

Me: No idea. DO we know each other?

You: Maybe we don’t.

Me: I mean, I don’t recognise you, but that’s normal for me.

You: And I have no idea who you are.

Me: Well me too, but I was just too polite to say it.

You: ………………………………………………..

Me: …………………………………………………

You: What were we talking about?

Me: No idea.

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