augustus gloop, charlie and the chocolate factory, chocolate, binge eating, january, new year, conversations have with yourself

Conversations you have with yourself in January

Me: New Year, no fear.

Also me: OMFG, January is TERRIFYING.

Me: New beginnings.

Also me: Same old problems.

Me: I’m going to start going to the gym.

Also me: Some day.

Me: I’m going to eat more healthily.

Also me: Where are my fags?

Me: Get up early every morning and go for a run.

Also me: After I’ve re-watched all of Sex and The City including the terrible films.

Me: I’m going to go to bed earlier.

Also me: And then wake up after two hours to think about death.

Me: And get up earlier.

Also me: So I can get a morning panic in.


Also me: Really dedicating time to my anxiety.

Me: Just, you know, appreciating everyday life.

Also me: What will I look like in ten years?

Me: Not wishing my life away.

Also me: It *would* be funny to have the Jaws theme played at my funeral.

Me: More quality time with my friends.

Also me: Facebook.

Me: Finding out what they’ve been getting up to over Christmas.

Also me: Instagram.

Me: And what’s been going on in the world.

Also me: Twitter.

Me: I’m going to be more culturally engaged.

Also me: Sky Catch Up.

Me: Maybe learn a new skill.

Also me: How to connect my laptop to my TV.

Me: A more positive outlook.

Also me: January is so black. And bleak. BLAAAAACK. BLEEEAAAK.

Me: A better attitude.

Also me: Winter is so pointless after Christmas.

Me: I’m going to clear my cupboard out and donate to charity.

Also me: Sales shopping!


Also me: Before midday.

Me: Before 6pm.

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