Just going to put it in my diary before my phone runs out of batt...

Maybe You Are Gagging To Go Out…

Maybe you are gagging to get out. But isn’t it useful to have a soft no in your arsenal…

‘Sounds great, leave it with me….’

‘Tiny chance I’ll be moving house then, but otherwise definitely!’

‘OK great, just going to put it in my diary before my phone runs out of batt-‘

‘I’m busy on the Monday, the Tuesday, the Wednesday, the Thursday or the Friday of that week, so can I let you know?’

‘I’ve got a massive night the night before, so I might be brutally hungover and vomiting, but I’m sure it won’t be a problem.’

‘In theory yes, although it will be two days before full moon…’

‘That date will mark 29 years since River Phoenix died, so I can’t predict what mood I’ll be in.’

‘I can absolutely do that date, as long as it’s between 5.45pm  and 6.30pm.’

‘Sure – as long as my horoscope is good that morning.’

‘Thank you, how kind, what a wonderful idea, I’m so grateful, gosh, what a surprise, I’m overwhelmed, it’s so unexpected, if only I’d been more prepared, I didn’t see that coming, you’re a dark horse, I barely know how to answer, my cup runneth over – wait, can I call you back?’

‘I have my anger management class on a Tuesday, but my therapist says it’s fine as long as I don’t make eye contact with anyone.’

‘I’d love to come – can I bring your ex-boyfriend? He’s been dm-ing me on Instagram.’

‘Yes! Let’s get hammered and prank-call people from school! From your phone!’

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