1. A Bag Of Healthy Coping Mechanisms
To feel a little less trapped in an emotional pinball machine.
2. Comfortable Shoes That Don’t Look Comfortable
So we don’t look/feel/behave like Nurse Ratched. So we don’t squeak down life’s corridors looking like we might lobotomise anyone who annoys us. Although…
3. Higher Tolerance For Caffeine
It would be nice not to feel that strange back of the eyeball tightening after just three triple-shot-soya lattes. We just want all of the awake with none of the heart attack please.
4. A New List
We are declaring a list amnesty. A clean slate. No recriminations. No regrets. Throw the old lists away. They are no longer working documents. Start again. Dare to hope.
5. To Be Better At Saying No
Or even just, ‘I am terribly sorry I don’t think I will be able to do that because *inserts brilliant excuse that doesn’t sound like an excuse*.’
6. Some Spontaneity
Yes, routine is comforting. Yes, we like our sofa best. But what about some fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants woohoo? Just once or twice a year. With planning. Sorry.
7. Cash Flow
A little breathing space would be fine. Not diamonds or private planes. But maybe a side return and some new boots. Plus new knickers. Also winter sun. And taxis.
8. To Have Not Slept With The IT Guy
Please can you just wipe that off our naughty list? It was 15 years ago and our self-esteem was not throbbing with good health at the time. So, if we agree that it didn’t happen, then it didn’t happen, right? Can we agree on that?
9. A Better Memory
Because it’s getting a bit embarrassing to start a really impressive sentence, replete with many subordinate clauses and a rather unique point of view and then…sorry, what was I saying?
10. Happy Endings
With proper jewellery.
I’m Absolutely Fine! The Manual for Imperfect Women is out in paperback now