couples retreat, yoga, orgasm, sexual, yogasm

Yogasm? Not likely, but I am in the throes of a cancelgasm

Perhaps you have been reading about yogasms. Suddenly everyone (who? ARSEHOLES that’s who) is talking about the orgasms they have during yoga. Put your hand up if you have ever had a yogasm. Mmmm those sweaty mats and fart smells really press some buttons, right? A bit like those orgasms women apparently have while giving birth. Nothing like stirrups and a shredded perineum to really get things going.

Anyway it got us thinking about other orgasms we could be having, but which will probably never happen:

  1. Artgasms: When you are wandering around an art gallery and suddenly are “struck” by the most inspiring piece of art. You’re my masterpiece.
  2. Parkgasm: When you achieve the most sublime, on-point, hole-in-one style parallel park into a space and you didn’t even have to search for the space. It presented itself. It was a sure thing. Yes, yes, yes.
  3. Cancelgasm: When you are tired and really not in the mood and it’s raining and you have a plan and the person you love but feel really guilty about not wanting to see suddenly texts and says they can’t make it. These we understand…
  4. Hairgasm: When you are late and wash your hair and don’t have time to dry it and shove it up and then you get to work and go to the bathroom and for some reason it should look like total shit but it tumbles down around your shoulder and everyone says, “I like your hair today.” Hot, hot, hot…
  5. Complimentgasm: When someone stops you in the street and tells you they like your shoes/bag/jumpsuit/coat. They want what you are having. I know.
  6. Sleepgasm – it’s an eight-hourgasm actually. You wake up at 7am and you haven’t moved all night and you feel fresh, alive, re-charged. Ha! This is taking fantasy just too far.
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