Valentine’s Day is stupid. Except for those times when you really need to tell the people who matter how much they matter….
When that facet joint suddenly trapped a nerve in my back and I walked around like I had a stick up my arse because I couldn’t perform any lateral turns, you were there for me. I rang screaming that I needed an emergency appointment and you fitted me in. Your calm voice, your purposeful hands, a few cracks and I left (crying and in agony, having given you £100) able to turn my head. You make me a better person.
I was hairy. So hairy. It was a disgrace down there. You didn’t judge me. You just waxed. And waxed. And waxed. You see the real me. Literally, in this case.
The bin man
What was once dirty, you made clean. Even when the foxes chewed through the bin bag that time, dragging out the chicken carcass in a wake of pizza crusts and leftover rice, you cleared up. You’re noisy, yes, but you’re efficient. Efficient is everything. EVERYTHING.
Grocery delivery man
You bring me my shopping. You carry the bags. Sometimes you replace things on my list with other things I don’t want, but at least it shows you’re trying. You want to please me. That makes me want to please you.
Let me cross your borders and mount you, while you mount my pictures and make them look really smart (your advice about the stained ash frames was spot on).
You said the HIIT class was cancelled and I suddenly saw you through new eyes. My love swelled like a tsunami. It was everything I needed to hear right at that moment. It’s like you could see into my head. How did you do that?
The AA man
I’m not the kind of girl who feels she needs to be rescued. At least, that’s what I thought. Until I broke down on the Norfolk bypass and after a two-hour wait, you came to my aid, like I’d summoned you from a dream (actually I had to walk to the top of a hill to get a phone signal to ring you, but that’s not the point). You towed me to the nearest village, like I weighed nothing. Who knew a flat battery could open my heart like this?