- Wait….we had a summer?
- It was all seven seasons of Suits, that hilarious thing with Billie Piper, Normal People three times in a row (with crying), MasterChef (or was that last year? Are we still doing years?) and the Michael Jordan documentary, mostly pausing on him in mid-shot looking really hot.
- It was great – I went to Italy and then I went to Portugal and then I went to Greece, but it was all vicariously via other people’s Instagram, so I’m not sure if I need to quarantine or not.
- I spent it indoors probably developing rickets.
- Nice, thanks – my mask tan-line is terrible though, I look like a Kinder Surprise.
- I stayed alert. I think.
- If this is your way of asking me if I am now a borderline pro-runner or baker, or if I learnt Catalonian and am now fluent, let me remind you that some of us had drawers to rearrange and dishwashers to empty 29 times a day.
- All you need to know is that I am now VERY close to my Ocado man. The end.
- I socially distanced from myself and actually it was a relief.
- There was no summer. It’s a government conspiracy theory to CONTROL YOU, DO NOT FALL FOR IT.
- I have no idea, I spent most of it checking my temperature and googling ‘Can you catch coronavirus from people who look at you weirdly?’
- Whatever, it was fine, does this mask make me look fat?
- There was a lot of sweating during the heatwave. Or was it crying? Basically I just sort of leaked for most of July.
- I spent it putting ancient hexes on people who wear masks under their noses.
- Summer 2020 doesn’t count. It’s basically the new PPI – ‘Were you fraudulently sold another year of your life that you weren’t able to use? You’re not alone.’
