kristen wiig, snl, smiling, forced smile, happy, happy?, are you happy?, awkward

What to say when someone asks if you’re happy

  1. If your definition of happy is sober and not crying, then yes.
  2. I don’t know. Ask me in about fifteen minutes when my Day Nurse has kicked in.
  3. My therapist asked me that this morning. Does that mean I have to complain about my brother and then give you £100 too?
  4. I need the universe to think I am, so (loudly) YES I AM, VERY HAPPY AND ALSO GRATEFUL AND DID I SAY HAPPY?
  5. I’m so happy, I’m verging on dangerous.
  6. I’ll be happy if I find out that Debbie McGee is shagging her professional partner on Strictly.
  7. As Sue Perkins once said, “Whenever I’m sad, I remember that Jermaine Jackson has a son called Jermajesty and then I’m happy again.”
  8. More than Ant, less than Dec. But also less than Phil and Holly. Although more than Susannah Reid every time she has to sit next to Piers Morgan.
  9. Don’t be silly, I’m far too busy to be happy.
  10. Happiness is for people who sleep through the night and have pensions.
  11. Are you kidding? I just had my plans cancelled for tonight – happiness doesn’t even touch the sides of what I’m feeling right now.
  12. I’m happy when I remember Kim Kardashian’s insta-story when she was talking about racism at the same time as getting her boobs powdered.
  13. I just ordered fries. There is no greater happiness.
  14. Ah, happiness. I remember that. It happened in 1996 when the Spice Girls released Say You’ll Be There and George Clooney rescued the boy who got stuck in the grate from drowning on ER.
  15. Yes, I am happy. And you can’t be happier than happy.
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