I am currently trying to be the person I am not. I have a situation which – while requiring honesty – also demands of me qualities that I do not possess: patience for one. Self-acceptance for two. Faith in the future for three.
In short. I am trying a new way. It feels like a case study: if I experiment with being the person I am not, can I achieve a different outcome from the one generally reached by being the person I am?
And then it slowly dawns that the person I am not is in there somewhere. We are all more than one woman and this tolerant, trusting, confident soul is in there. Am I faking it or am I just plundering new resources of my personality that have lain dormant for… centuries?
And then, as that realisation hits, it occurs to me that this is an excellent exercise in personal evolution. No mantras. No affirmations. No self-help books. No goals. No journalling. None of that righteous stuff.
Because – whether or not my secret project* comes off – I have discovered that there is more to me than I knew. More strings to my bow. More colours to my rainbow. And that, my Midults, is what’s known in the trade as… empowering.
*Yes it’s a man. Obviously it’s a man. Now please stop asking inappropriate questions and go away.