Time for A Midult Crisis? Only A Little One…

Is it possible that a little taste of Midult crisis might re-invigorate us? Keep us sharp? Keep us fun? I’m not talking about exploding your life: jacking in your job, having sex with a 22-year-old and going white blonde. Although….

What about the little spices we could sprinkle across our existences to make them a bit more fun? A little less earnest? Innocent devices to freshen things up. I had my first piercing four years ago, at 43, and my fourth three months ago. Incidentally, it was feeling a bit weird yesterday so I took the earring out and it was practically foaming with pus. Is that because my cells aren’t renewing and turning over the way a 16-year-old’s would? I’m rather thrilled that I can still produce pus and I’m having another piercing next week…

Maybe you spent quite a lot of the summer drooling over all the tattooed bodies. It’s our flavour of midult crisis when you are admiring the ink rather than the bodies. And imagining them on you. Again, the ink, not the bodies…

Traditionally this kind of crisis heralded the arrival of a stupid car. Honestly. But what about an electric scooter? Turns out they can deliver a proper thrill. Yes it took me weeks to upload my driving license for the Lime App people to approve but scooting along with skirts flowing like a ship in full sail is as much speed-thrill as this Midult requires. Baby steps towards full Harley Davidson biker. The beard is coming along nicely.

Retail therapy is a silly term when money is tight and shops are broken and changing rooms are strip-lit torture chambers but – just for some variety – what about a sex toy shopping spree. I’m not a sex toy virgin. Nor a refusnik. More an ignoramus. A sex toy splurge instead of the flashy watch we don’t want, can’t afford and would feel stressed about wearing. A friend clarified the mood last week: ‘It’s not so much for working from home as wanking from home.’ This could improve mood, productivity, morale and team-building skills. You see? Out of a gentle crisis can come meaningful change.

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