Because there will be a day (soon surely?) when it will all be OK. We can’t wait…
To be able to afford to be the people we are
It seems that the universe/pay masters do not understand our worth or our deservingness. Our primal need for really nice things. Professionally cleaned things. Folded by someone else things. While we are on an adult gap life things.
To automatically remember which side the petrol cap is on, every time
Wouldn’t it be nice to never hesitate, or have to stop the car and lean out of the window, realise you can’t see and have to get out and look? And when you’re by the pump and you’ve got it wrong, you have to do a horrific reversing manoeuvre that is so humiliating you are better off just driving to another petrol station and starting all over again?
For climate change to be dealt with and sorted out
A time when we’ll no longer need to fret about the freak weather and the earth dying and the penguins.
For our novel to be finally written
We haven’t even started it. Or thought of a plot. But we will be so happy when it’s done. And a best-seller. And a movie. With merch.
For everyone to calm down about Meghan Markle
She can touch her bump, go on private jets with Amal Clooney, touch her bump some more, wear short skirts, not talk to her family, call her daughter Diana (this is Annabel’s prediction so we’re just logging it), exist, talk or not talk, and we’re OK with it. Mostly because we don’t care. Honestly… the fuss.
For an abundance of pandas
In fact, so many pandas that we all have to adopt one. At home. It is mandatory to have a panda. Pandatory.
For there to be only one remote for everything
No more HDM1, HDMwhatever. No more Sky one, no more Apple remote. Maybe it could even sort out the heating, open the curtains, answer the phone, put a wash on, talk to your mother, turn off a hard-on. No more human error. No more humane error either. Hmmm…