tom and jerry, cat and mouse, karma, good karma, bad karma, what goes around comes around

Put cash in the karma bank

I don’t kill the flies anymore. I don’t hurt the slugs (even though I loathe them). I don’t stare at the tramp or speed up when the lady with the pushchair stands by the side of the road looking like she wants to cross. Even though I’m in a hurry and she’s annoying because there’s a zebra crossing, like, there. I buy the ethically harvested coffee (rip off) and I use the environmentally friendly cleaning stuff and I recycle. I give money to charity and I sign petitions and I buy the Big Issue with a horrible gracious smile and, all the while, I don’t really care about any of this. I am not cause driven. I’m a natural capitalist in every area of my life apart from my very personal relationships. And, I might add (I WANT to add), most of the very worthy charity worker types that I have met have been rather… mean. Yes, mean. Lecturey and shamey and damn pushy. Truly un-fun and not kind either.

No, I attempt to do the right thing because I have got to the point in life (death maths anyone?) where I want karma on my side. Not on some other bugger’s. Mine. True, trying to buy clothes made by post-pubescent people may not stop me getting breast cancer or help my kids on their odysseys or boost my lovelife or give me a quick death in my sleep. But we don’t KNOW that. It might. Karma might be a thing: an active universal force. Now pass me a fair trade banana. I don’t want to talk about this any more…

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