This is a rich seam to plunder. Fertile ground for creative thinking. Because almost everything is HORRIFYING…
A WhatsApp Group
Forget sexy cats. Be a WhatsApp group. Particularly the one that includes people you don’t know. The one you muted after you were sent 47 messages in the time it took you to make a cup of tea. Just spend the whole evening talking non-stop: ‘Who can do Thursdays? Not including next week or tomorrow?’ / ‘When you say outdoors, what does that mean if it rains?’, ‘Red wine? Or white? Or both? Is it too cold for rosé?’, ‘Are you still allergic to shellfish?’, ‘Anyone else now solely plant-based like me?’ If someone slaps you, you know you’ve smashed it.
Empty Supermarket Shelf
You are dressed in white. If someone asks you a question, reply ‘I have nothing to say. I’m empty.’ Then go and stand by yourself in the corner looking longingly at the table full of food. That used to be you. Not anymore.
Gas Bill
You are now the richest person you know. You are dressed head to toe in actual gold. You are covered in diamonds. You only dine at the best restaurants and your car is now a helicopter. You are a gas bill. And you make more money than Jeff Bezos.
A Petrol Station
A group set piece. You all stand in a queue, swearing, rolling your eyes and shaking your heads. One of you is wrapped in hazard tape. You just slowly file past her. You are now all hysterical. Enjoy!
Britney’s Conservatorship
Take drinks out of people’s hands and then drink them yourself. Ask if anyone would like food. Return with a half empty plate for them and a full one for yourself. Any conversation should only involve you saying, ‘No’. To everything.
The Final Straw
All in black, holding a straw. That’s it. You are here to break people.
