sarah connor, linda hamilton, terminator, screen mother, fantasy, tv and film

Imagine if your mother was…

Does your mother make you crazy? Well, what might it be like to be the child of one of these screen women. Just imagine…

Mrs Weasley – Harry Potter

It’s all a bit untidy and a bit ginger round the edges, but being a member of the Weasley clan is like being a Corleone without the guns. Leading the tribe is Mrs Weasley with her big hugs and her homemade Christmas presents. Plus she’s got a steely side when it counts, as Bellatrix Lestrange found out to her cost (“Not my daughter, you bitch!” *zaps with wand*)

Gloria Delgado-Pritchett – Modern Family

The thing about having a mother whose own childhood babysitter was a goat called Lupé, is that she takes motherhood very seriously. No one defends her child more staunchly than Gloria. She would think you were the greatest thing since the invention of fire. And when you were sad, you could lay your head on that heavenly bosom and sob while she rushed to your defence in Spanish.

Sharon Mitchell – EastEnders

Sharon is the rock that binds the Mitchells. She puts up with an alcoholic husband, a gaggle of stepchildren and low-level criminal activity, all with a flick of her pony tail extensions. She famously has total blindness when it comes to her own though – if the monster that is her son Denny is anything to go by, having Sharon as a mother means complete indulgence and a total disbelief that you are anything but a saint. You could get away with actual murder and she’d never hear a word against you.

Maria Von Trapp – The Sound of Music

Technically not an actual mother, but as good as. Don’t you just feel safe even thinking about Maria from The Sound of Music? Don’t you want to have an INCREDIBLE day out with her wearing clothes she made for you from curtains? Don’t you want to march around Salzburg harmonising with her, going on bike rides, climbing trees, putting on puppet shows and, you know, doing dance routines and stuff? All while she smiles at you and never gets cross when you wake her up at night.

Barbara Royle – The Royle Family

She would never lose her rag about you smoking or tell you to switch off the telly and go outside – on the contrary, she would share her fags with you and let you watch Who Wants To Be A Millionaire in peace. There would always be Penguins saved for you in the biscuit tin and she’d make you cups of tea before you even knew you wanted one. You wouldn’t have to ever lift a finger. Quite tempting to move back home in this scenario, actually.

Cersei Lannister – Game of Thrones

Imagine Cersei Lannister at parent’s evening. The Maths teacher (who had been giving you a hard time for not understanding fractions) or the Geography teacher (who didn’t spend long enough explaining what the Tropic of Cancer actually was, which is why you failed your test) would be mincemeat in the hands of this tyrant. She would never believe their lies that you were lazy and spent every lesson fooling about at the back of the class. And however much trouble you got into it would never be as bad as her shagging her own brother, which you could raise in any arguments.

Sarah Connor – Terminator

She might not be the cosy type who cries when you make her a card, but she has a hardcore bench press rep and she knows how to load an automatic rifle. All those bad boyfriends you had? Dead. She’d go back in time and kill them. And then the word would spread that you were not to be messed with and only nice boys would go out with you. Never underestimate a mother who knows her way around a machine gun.

Erin Brockovich – Erin Brockovich

A mother who understands the importance of hard graft/push-up bras who takes absolutely no nonsense from anyone. The work ethic of a soldier, but who can still look hot in a mini skirt while bestowing her feminist principles on you.

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