hypothetical arguments, book, volume, books we could write

Fifty Shades of No Thanks and other books we could write

Unsuitable Men To Sleep With Between The Age Of 20 And 21 1/2….

The sequel will of course be ‘Unsuitable Men To Sleep With Between The Ages Of 22 To The Present Day And Possibly Beyond.’

Diets For Women Aged 15-90

A comprehensive guide to all the things you should definitely stop eating that will make absolutely no difference at all.

Times We Were Burnt At The Stake By Full Moon

Chapter and verse on the random crying, the savage, werewolf anger, the sweaty, sleepless nights and the burning alive of your soul. Thank you, Mother Nature.

The Big Sleep(less night)

One woman. One night. Many thoughts. All of them bad. Some weird medication that didn’t work. Feeling pretty mad now. Is it 6am? Wait, am I asleep having a dream about my old piano teacher trying to shave my legs or am I so tired that I’ve started hallucinating? Is this now in the first person stream of consciousness don’t know what any of this means very confused feel sick good morning just walked into a wall.

The Little Book Of Cancellation

All the feelings of joy when someone cancels, in easily digestible soundbites.

The Things They Never Told You About Being An Adult

In twenty four volumes.

My Life. The Forgotten Years

Did I leave my life in the fridge or is that just my house keys?

Cry Me A River

An in depth study with absolutely no conclusion on the many, varied and completely unresolvable reasons why you keep crying for no reason at all.

Boxsets. A Love Story

She was a girl with a sofa. He was a box set of Successions season one and two. When they met, it was MURDER.

Fifty Shades Of No Thanks

But I reserve the right to change my mind

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