i'm too xxx for this shit, too, extreme, excuses

Excuses… because it just keeps coming

I am too under caffeinated for this shit

For when you have been denied that fourth cup of coffee because someone called a meeting or the phone rang or your hands were shaking too much to pour it but you still have to deal with all THE QUESTIONS.

I am too hormonal for this shit

If someone just LOOKS or TALKS or BREATHES wrong I am going to tear them apart limb from limb and then burn their bloody corpse in Hyde Park. And now, chocolate.

I am too broke for this shit

The roof, my addiction to cashmere, smashed phone, smashed car, even a smashed avocado.

I am too disappointed for this shit

Listen, nothing is going to make me happy/interested/enthusiastic as I have taken a bit of a blow. And I will recover but right now I am DISAPPOINTED.

I am too sad for this shit

When you don’t really know you exist. You certainly can’t feel anything but a low-level whine in your soul and only a darkened room will do.

I am too good for this shit

Can’t they see? Can’t they all see the real me? Do I have to sit forever and wait to be discovered? When will they know my brilliance and allow the light to shine from my big bush? I mean bushel.

I am too single for this shit

Nope. My own company is better than this. And less lonely. I may be single but I am not insane.

I am too busy for this shit

Maybe this is the straw that broke the camel’s back, maybe the plot is thickening, maybe it’s all hands on deck. Not my hands. Leave my fucking hands alone… Too busy for life right now.

I am too angry for this shit

I have nothing more to say.

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