Usually I have no dresses that I like. This summer I suddenly have three dresses that I like. So what am I doing? I am saving them for best. I find my Ikea glasses quite depressing. I have a shelf full of pretty, vintage glasses that give me real pleasure. Am I using them? No. I am saving them for best. It’s the same with the pillowcases, the hand towels, the earrings, the heels, the handbag and the expensive shampoo. Also the champagne, the nice bra, the flattering jeans, the smelly candles and even the washbag.
Saving things for best is depressing. It tells you that you are not deserving of the best. It tells you that the best is for other people. It disallows you of micro-lifting yourself out of the drudge by way of a small luxury that is ALREADY YOURS TO DO WITH AS YOU WILL. No money needs to be spent. No time or energy is required. These things are gifts you have already given yourself and now you are withholding them from yourself. For no reason other than the fact that today is not the day when you will allow yourself to experience your life at its most delicately seasoned and nuanced. You think using a nice glass for a solo dinner is a waste? It’s not, it’s a pleasure. You are worried your new frock will ‘wear out’? No it won’t. Not before you try it on in two years and realise your eyes have adjusted to some new, unspoken trend and now it looks all wrong.
Self-care isn’t just yoga and meditation (thank God) but also using the posh bath oil before it goes off; chucking on those fantastic earrings for a work day; applying the good tinted moisturiser every day and worrying about replacing it when and if you want to. Give yourself a present in the present. What else is all this stuff for?
