julia roberts, eat pray love, meditation, meditate, wandering thoughts

Conversations you have with yourself: while you meditate

Me: Take a deep breath in.

Also me: Bored.

Me: Hold it.

Also me: *opens one eye and checks instagram*

Me: Slowly exhale.

Also me: Are Jean-Claude Juncker and Michel Barnier the same person?

Me: Acknowledge them…

Also me: Wait, did I just have a micro-sleep?

Me: …observe them…

Also me: Is it too early for a sandwich?

Me: …don’t get attached…

Also me: My whole life is built on sand and fear and cashmere jumpers I now hate.

Me: …just let them pass.

Also me: When do I get to admit I don’t like oat milk?

Me: Breathe in…

Also me: My foot feels weird.

Me: …breathe out…

Also me: Oh my God, my foot has been poisoned!!!!!!!!!!

Me: …breathe in…

Also me: *opens one eye and checks emails*

Me: …breathe out…

Also me: ‘On the rivers of Babylon, there we sat down…

Me: Follow the breath.

Also me: I need to pee.

Me: Let your shoulders relax.

Also me: *lies down*

Me: Keep your spine straight.

Also me: *sits up again*

Me: MMMMMMmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMmmmmmmm…………………………….

Also me: Why wasn’t I born with the tongue-rolling gene?

Me: If your mind has drifted…

Also me: *feels for chin hairs*

Me: …just gently bring it back to the breath.

Also me: The washing machine has finished. Where are my glasses? Is it raining?

Me: Wiggle your fingers and toes…

Also me: Well, that was three hours I’ll never get back.

Me: Congratulations, your five minutes is up.

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