iron lady, margaret thatcher, prime minister, government, conversations you have with the government, meryl streep

Conversations you have with the government in your head

Government: We want to know what you think.

Me: What about?

Government: Everything.

Me: OK… Well, I think that –

Government: No, we’re not going to do that.

Me: Wait, I haven’t –

Government: It’s too complicated, you wouldn’t understand it.

Me: Bit patronising, but…

Government: Leave it to your elected representatives, OK?

Me: Wow, did I really vote for you?

Government: Time to introduce some austerity measures.

Me: Is that necessary?

Government: With your spending? What else were you expecting?

Me: Hey, how come you get an expense account to fill your moat with and I don’t?

Government: We don’t have a second home.

Me: What? I never said –

Government: Because you’re not successful enough to own one.

Me: Hang on –

Government: How do you intend to start paying back the deficit?

Me: Well, how much is it?

Government: Guess.

Me: Give me a clue.

Government: It’s more than that.

Me: I hadn’t actually –

Government: Waaaaaay more than that.

Me: You’re scaring me.

Government: No we’re not, we’re helping you.

Me: Errr…

Government: We’re on your side.

Me: (bitter laugh)

Government: Guess the amount or go to prison.

Me: I need a drink.

Government: Prison might help kick-start your desperately needed diet.

Me: What is this??

Government: Your weight problems are going to put a strain on the NHS.

Me: Hang on, we’re only talking a couple of pounds.

Government: That’s what they all say.

Me: Sorry, but that’s just –

Government: Take some responsibility.

Me: Wait a minute, I –

Government: We know what you need, stop questioning us.

Me: Do you though?

Government: Of course we do – what’s wrong with you? We’re the government.

Me: But you haven’t even asked me what I think.

Government: Yes, we have and you didn’t know.

Me: No, you didn’t listen –

Government: To be clear, we know exactly what you think and you’re wrong.

Me: Wrong about what???

Government: Do not question how we run things.

Me: It’s my democratic right to question, actually.

Government: Don’t you think that’s a slightly outdated concept?

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