kill bill, uma thurman, great woman, woman, female power, girl power

Behind every great woman is…

  • …another great woman who also needs to pee.
  • …a terrifying list of things she needs to do.
  • …thousands of different sleep remedies.
  • …a set of keys in the fridge.
  • …a startling, thorough, creative and comprehensive knowledge of swear words.
  • …a strategically stored tampon in a handbag/kitchen drawer/bedroom drawer/car because you never know.
  • …a set of expensive, matching towels (she may not have a pension, but…)
  • …incredibly hideous, but supremely comfortable, slippers.
  • …a book about the Law of Attraction (that she gets out when her friends are over and hides when her mother comes over).
  • …painkillers, plasters, dry shampoo and hand sanitiser.
  • jeans she can’t get into but will never throw away in case she can get into them one day because how do you know she won’t get into them, OK?
  • …a long-standing desire to own the pyramid jacket that Madonna wears in Desperately Seeking Susan.
  • …an obsessive, self-imposed challenge to get through a self-check out supermarket shop without being told there’s an unexpected item in the bagging area.
  • …a shameful catalogue of baffling sex dreams featuring completely incomprehensible lovers (Donald Trump/Kim Jong Un/Jacob Rees-Mogg/Ursula the sea witch from The Little Mermaid.)
  • …a silk pillowcase.
  • …several sets of laddered tights that have been kept, no one knows why.
  • …a personal belief that she is secretly a really good singer.
  • …an irrational fear of August.
  • …the ability to rap most of the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.
  • …a packet of dental floss.
  • …a packet of rice pasta that has never been opened.
  • …a fantasy that she is an accomplished horsewoman with a horse that understands her better than any human.
SHARE! SHARE! SHARE!
Share on Facebook
Facebook
Tweet about this on Twitter
Twitter
Email to someone
email