julianne moore, make up, mirror, sad friend, bad friend, isolated, lonely, ill

Bad friend or sad friend?

If you have a friend who is being a bad friend then that’s annoying, right? But what kind of bad friend is she being? Is she just not around for you? Would she rather stay in alone for an evening than hang out with you? Is she disinterested… in fact, would you go as far as to say that she has a bad attitude? I mean, she’s distant, right? And it feels as though she’s distant on purpose. And she’s flaky too… cancelling everything. Frankly she’s selfish. And you’ve had enough.

All we would say is, take a closer look. Maybe she is selfish. Maybe she’s dumped you. Maybe she needs a piece of your mind or a little educational freezing out. But maybe she’s incredibly anxious and not really coping. Replace unavailable with isolated. Swap lazy with silently battling and losing the fight. Distant? Or frozen. Flaky? Or overwhelmed and shut down. Selfish? Or caring too much about too much and no longer able to connect with normal, reasonable emotions.

What you see may not be what is actually happening. If she’s not a terribly good friend then you might not have the spare energy to care. But if she’s family, then getting cross, exasperated or icy is going to exact a terrible revenge on her for being ill. For being stuck. For being barely able to breathe but unable to say so.

The thing is, in this age of anxiety, it is always worth just taking another look. Because sometimes bad friends are sick friends who need, above all else… real friendship.

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