Daily practice works the muscle, right? Makes you good at things? Empowers you? But sometimes we do not practice what the gurus and experts and mentors tell us to. Sometimes, daily practice, like everything else, goes wonky.
The Ingratitude List
Some days you are so thankful that it can turn anything into a hymn of praise to the universe: like Maria Von Trapp, finding your favourite things and losing the Nazis. Other days, it’s a little more ‘Hang on! You expect me to be grateful for this weather/delay on commute/phone call from mother?’
The Spirit Practice
For when a mantra is not enough to hold back the mur de merde that is descending. The glass is half empty after an attempt at spiritual practice, but half full after all le vodka.
We are not so hot at the ‘concentrate on the breath’ stuff. We are much hotter at the ‘concentrate on the madness’ stuff. It’s like trying to herd metaphorical, mental cats while chanting and slightly smiling in that creepy way that accomplished meditators do. All we can really manage is a kind of mediation between the different, mad bits of our brain. ‘It’s probably not cancer and no one noticed how drunk you were…’
The art of manifesting is a magical thing: picture the life you want and it shall be yours. But what about our speciality: manifestering? This is the art of obsessing about the things you don’t have and wondering why nothing is working. Like your skin right now. See also visualisation/viciousalisation, where the corrosive envy takes over and strips you of your sanity.
The Positively Mental Attitude
One minute everything is absolutely fine and you are sailing SAILING through the day with your Positive Mental Attitude. And then a tiny trigger – a phone call (who actually calls?), a grocery substitution (WHY ME?) – and then you are sailing towards the asylum: positively (or negatively) mental.