cleopatra, egypt, elizabeth taylor, glamorous, gold headdress

9 tiny romantic things to do for yourself this Valentine’s Day

  1. Buy yourself some ramen. So it’s got wheat noodles in it and you’ll splash most of it down your top. Who literally and actually cares?
  2. Cancel your wax appointment. Why are you even waxing at all? Celebrate that winter coat. Be liberated by your hairy legs and empowered by your full bush. Go home and watch TV while you enjoy the extra insulation of your furry self.
  3. Go to bed REALLY early. Read, watch a film, make phone calls, smokeFacebook stalk people you went to school with who you had pashes on. Then take a sleeping pill.
  4. Go to a smart hotel and order yourself a glass of Champagne. Or go home and open a bottle. Drink one glass or drink the lot. It never fails to feel special-occasiony – like you are celebrating something, preferably yourself in this instance. Play Shy Glizzy’s Awesome for maximum impact.
  5. Listen to a Desert Island Discs archive on your iPhone in the bath. With a large glass of gin. Princess Margaret/Sister Wendy/Yoko Ono/Noel Gallagher are all highly recommended.
  6. Get some eyelash extensions done. Then go to bed. Wake up the next morning feeling like Elizabeth Taylor in Cleopatra – like you’re already wearing make-up and *could * be married to Richard Burton.
  7. Get a black cab. See that lovely orange light and flag it down. They know where they’re going – the DECADENCE. No frustrated looking at the weird sat nav route and not being able to say anything because you don’t want your rating to go down.
  8. Pretend you have a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon, but go home, switch you phone off and go to sleep.
  9. Buy yourself something a ‘Well done me’ present. Something expensive. Yes, you should be getting your car serviced/roof fixed/laptop upgraded, but that Miu Miu bag is also really nice and why do we even have credit cards?
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