rebel wilson, pitch perfect, attitude

8 reasons…I’m not speaking to my vagina today

  1. It’s giving me ‘your cycle is starting three days early this month, so screw you’ attitude.
  2. It doesn’t care how I feel.
  3. It has subsequently spoiled my weekend plans. I can practically hear it laughing.
  4. It wants constant attention – it’s having a diva tantrum like Mariah Carey or Barbra Streisand. I can’t get on with anything!
  5. It objected to being waxed by making it as painful for me as possible. What a bitch.
  6. It is altering the seam of my trousers to make itself known when no one wants to know it’s there, especially me.
  7. It’s battling with my tights. Uncomfortable.
  8. If it doesn’t know I am not going to tell it.
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