carrie bradshaw, sarah jessica parker, sex and the city, noughties fashion, noughties outfits, corsage

10 things we wore in the Noughties

  1. Boho vibes: It was funny; no matter how many low-slung coin belts/pairs of slouchy boots/peasant skirts/fur gilets/floppy hats we wore, we still resembled a distressed vagrant. Sienna looked perfect. How?
  2. Sex and the City vibes: When name necklaces were still cool (have they kind of come back?) and everything looked better with a massive fur coat thrown over it. Huge flower corsages didn’t quite travel from the streets of Manhattan to your Oasis jacket, and you still looked like you were wearing ‘second hand’ instead of the mysteriously alluring ‘vintage’. But WOW, the years of joy Carrie’s wardrobe gave us. Nothing has ever come close.
  3. Juicy Couture: Oh, don’t mind me in my double velour zip-up top and pubic-line-skimming bottoms situation. I’m just Jenny from the block, swinging my soft, stroke-able self about, as I lick off my juicy tube lip gloss as soon as I apply it.
  4. Low-slung everything: Treacherous every time you bent down to pick something up, admittedly, but at least your torso looked two miles long.
  5. Handkerchief tops: And in case you didn’t catch the 80% of my arse when I just bent down in my low-slung trousers, you may now see basically all of my boobs in this handkerchief top I am unable to wear a bra with.
  6. Boot cut jeans: Love me, love my denim. For they are here and they are many. Why did we have six pairs? How did we afford it?
  7. Ugg boots: Imagine not owning a pair of Uggs in 2003? You would have been rejected by society. Australians never got this. “The Ugg means ugly, you idiots,” they all shouted. “Why are you paying £200 for them????” “Because THEY MAKE YOUR LEGS LOOK THIN,” we all shouted back, “even if our boyfriends think they make us look like sexless hobbits.”
  8. GHDs: Time to burn all life out of your hair with tongs that reach temperatures hotter than the Earth’s core. If the results were any straighter, you could join Atomic Kitten immediately with no audition.
  9. Diamante on t-shirts: Tight t-shirts that said things like ‘Las Vegas’ or ‘kitten’ or had peacocks on them, interspersed with bright jewels. The best plastic had to offer.
  10. Hoop earrings: “The bigger the hoop, the bigger the ho,” as the saying goes. Sorry, went.
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