- Scientific research says that more light in the mornings means you crave less carbs. In other words, the clocks going forward will make you thinner.
- Apparently your sex drive goes up too. Now you don’t need to go for a run or fool around pointlessly in the gym. Get your workout for the day over before you’ve even opened your eyes/spoken/felt depressed that it’s not July yet.
- As the world is a place of perfect balance, surely the clocks going forward and you getting up an hour earlier means you also get to go to bed an hour earlier to compensate. Thank you, William Willet (Chris Martin’s great, great grandfather – true story) for bringing daylight-saving to the UK.
- It is barbaric and unreasonable to be expected to get up while it’s still dark outside. And unnatural. And just wrong. Especially if you haven’t slept and your brain is saying, “Wait, it’s still dark? Doesn’t that mean night? Why are we getting up? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?“
- You get to have your first drink of the evening a whole HOUR earlier (not including the drink you might have had at lunch – let’s just gloss over that).
- You will no longer need to switch the lights on in the morning. You will therefore save money. Which means you can now go shopping!
- One less hour to have anxiety dreams about ending up homeless because you don’t have a pension/having to move back in with your parents/getting stuck in your clothes while someone tells you have to go back to school because you never completed your A levels /having sex with Nigel Farage.
- A whole extra hour to google, ‘Can insomnia give you cancer?’/‘Why renting is better than buying’/‘How tall is Channing Tatum?’/‘Lyrics to Fresh Prince of Bel Air theme tune’/‘Most flattering Instagram filters’.
- A whole extra hour not spent in bed being depressed about not being asleep. You can legitimately get up without saying to someone, “I had to get up at stupid o’clock because I haven’t slept AGAIN (do I look ten years older to you?)”
- Tell yourself, “I was up an hour earlier today, no wonder I’m exhausted,” before allowing yourself an illicit afternoon nap.
