- “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” Hamlet
When you keep insisting that you no longer do cocaine and that your agitated mood is because you’re not sleeping at the moment but actually you’ve just done a line in the bathroom and everyone knows it.
- “The best part of valour is discretion.” Henry IV, Part 1
It’s fine if you tell your friend you saw her husband on Tinder. It’s not fine if you tell everyone else.
- “To thine own self be true.” Hamlet
If you think it sounds too scary, you don’t have to watch Stranger Things just because everyone else has.
- “All that glisters is not gold.” The Merchant of Venice
Remember that social media allows for people to entirely construct the narrative of their lives. That beautiful couple you know who look so loved up actually hate each other.
- “The course of true love never did run smooth.” A Midsummer Night’s Dream
When you find out Anthony Joshua is only 27.
- “I am one who loved not wisely but too well.” Othello
It’s not you. You’re perfect. You’re the best girlfriend who ever lived. It’s them. THEM. ALL OF THEM.
- “Lord, what fools these mortals be!” A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Just the thing that goes through your mind every morning on a packed tube.
- “Misery acquaints a man with strange bedfellows.” A Midsummer Night’s Dream
*Slightly* regretting last night’s mercy shag with that guy you briefly dated who you were never that into, but who you spent the night with because you were lonely and he had an advance copy of the new series of Twin Peaks.
- “We have seen better days.” Timon of Athens
Hungover as a bastard and you can’t find anywhere that sells Pepsi Max.
- “Brevity is the soul of wit.” Hamlet
I can handle you describing your dream if it does not extend beyond the parameter of a single sentence.