Before men, there were boys. Men were old and hairy and pervy. Boys were fresh and peachy and ours for the taking – in our tortured daydreams. I mean, how many times did you watch The Breakfast Club? How many fantasies did you have about kissing Rob Lowe in the bath? How often did Dylan from Beverly Hills 90210 dump Brenda for you? How big was the love? Big. Huge. Forever.
1. Dylan from Beverly Hills 90210
High forehead, low self-esteem. All with a super-hot dose of sulking and husky voice. Nothing wrong with a 26-year-old man playing a 17-year-old.
2. River Phoenix
Anyone else keep a picture of River Phoenix they’d stuck to card and covered in sticky-back plastic to protect it in their maths homework book?
3. Robbie Williams
You could tell right from the start he was the rogue one in Take That. He would definitely have shagged you. Not asked for your number or anything afterwards, but you’d have got over that after a few years.
4. Keanu Reeves
Star of the obligatory first year of university poster of him windswept in a white shirt. Mega hot in Speed. Let’s just gloss over Dracula, it’s not important.
5. Leonardo DiCaprio
Hairless and seal-like – and yet…w herefore art thou, Romeo? Never let go, Jack! Way hotter now that he’s meatier and hairier (and we’re meatier and hairier), but lovely and lithe and unthreatening to sexually confused teenage girls in the early days.
6. Rob Lowe
Lipgloss, a headband, a crucifix earring and a boiler suit and STILL he’s the most magnificent thing you’ve ever seen playing a saxophone in St Elmo’s Fire. And don’t get us started on About Last Night in NORMAL clothes. Handsome to the point of madness, like he’s been made on a computer.
7. Will Smith
Now this is a story all about how my life got flip-turned upside down by this wise-cracking, good at dancing, good at rapping dream-boat of a fantasy boyfriend.
8. Shane from Home and Away
When there is little to work with at 5pm on weekday afternoons, you find yourself fancying Shane from Home and Away because there must and shall be someone to fancy. And they killed him off too, which is always an erotic plus.
9. Judd Nelson
“I wanna be just… like… you. I figure all I need is a lobotomy and some tights.” Yes, he was mean as John Bender (!) in The Breakfast Club, but also funny and his coat was cool and so were his boots and his earring and his eyelashes and his air of tragedy.