Remember that game ‘Would You Rather?’ As in ‘Would you rather rim Simon Cowell or Piers Morgan?’ Hmmmm. Burning question. Or ‘Would you rather be incredibly fat and fragrant or skinny and appallingly smelly for the rest of your life?’ Glad you asked.
Anyway, have you noticed how, lately, life has become a real life game of ‘Would You Rather’, except with less spicy questions. Life is a series of trade-offs, basically. Here are some ‘Would You Rathers’ to agonise over*:
- Would you rather spend £10 a month subscribing to a meditation app you never use OR, for the same price, surrender to that one fag a day?
- Would you rather give up bread OR coffee?
- Would you rather have no clean knickers for a month OR no clean sheets for a year?
- Would you rather stay in every night for a month and go out for one huge night OR have a succession of slightly shit suppers but at least you’re getting out and seeing people?
- Would you rather look better in clothes OR naked?
- Would you rather have sex every night for a year OR no sex for a year? #nosexcuses
- Would you rather lose Instagram OR your car?
- Would you rather lose your moisturiser OR your hair dye?
- Would you rather have a loft extension OR a phenomenal wardrobe update?
- Would you rather live hangover free OR orgasm free for the REST OF YOUR LIFE?
- Would you rather bad hair and baby’s breath OR good hair and breath of death?
*Just wait till we get going on ‘I Have Never’