golden girls, friendship, friends, happy, loyalty, honesty, close people

Why I don’t fight with my friends

There are two things you need from the people in your life; the close people, the non-negotiable people, your people. And those two things are honesty and loyalty. This is why I do not get angry with my friends. Never. Because if they have my back then anything and everything that they do is OK.

We all slip up. We can get a bit overwhelmed and neglectful, a bit tired and crabby, a bit pre-occupied and self-obsessed, a bit flakey and absent. Those things happen as energy and luck and happiness ebb and flow; as the contractions of panic and grief come and go. We are, none of us, perfect. And who wants brittle, shimmering perfection anyway? Give me the human beings not the cardboard cut-outs. Give me fallen man and woman with all their frailties and intricacies and glory.

Each of my dear ones is slightly my mother and slightly my child. Comforting and to be cherished. The rest are a cast of characters that orbit my life and it is heart-warming to see them fly and flourish, bruising to see them struggle. But my people are chosen family. And they can honestly do no wrong. Because – conversely in these deeply personal relationships – I feel free enough to take nothing personally.

Even in the closest friendships space is needed. Space to fuck things up now and again. Because when you give people room to grow, that’s when you get the best of them. That’s when everybody wins.

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