vibrator, sex toy, dildo, hide away

Where do you hide your vibrator?

If you have a cleaner, nosy friends, maybe a man-shaped presence in your life, possibly a child, a dog constantly truffling about for things to chew… If you have some or all of these things in your life, where the hell do you hide your vibrator?

  1. In one of your old handbags. Until someone wants to play dress up. Or you do a charity shop run and forget…
  2. Behind the books on the book shelf – until someone (else) decides to alphabetise them.
  3. In your knicker drawer – where it will inevitably get tangled in a bra strap and fly out and hit someone on the nose when you are in a hurry one sweaty morning.
  4. In the bottom of the weekly organic vegetable delivery box. No one ever delves down into the sprouting potatoes at the end of the week.
  5. Round the back of the kitchen cupboard – the one where you have to reach around the corner and no one wants to because it’s a bit spidery.
  6. In the fish kettle. Stupid bloody thing.
  7. In your wellies. Anyone fancy a walk? Oops.
  8. In the Monopoly box. Hasn’t been touched in… OH GOD CAN’T WE PLAY PICTIONARY INSTEAD??????
  9. Boot of the car. With the spare tyre and the anti-freeze. Until there’s a break-down. Swiftly followed by your break-down.
  10. In a box that used to contain a very tall bottle of bubble bath. In the hope that no one… helps themselves.
SHARE! SHARE! SHARE!
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterEmail to someone