call in sick, ill, off work, excuse, meme, call in dead

What’s your excuse?

Do you ever wake up in the morning and think enough already? And your hand reaches for your phone to call in sick. But what excuse can you give? “I didn’t sleep a wink for the 3rd day in a row… I won’t be in because I slept with the IT guy and I didn’t really mean to… I’ll be in at lunchtime because of this overwhelming sense of hamster-wheeling ennui.”  So instead you drag yourself out of bed because by day you are a grown-up with a mortgage.

Well, take a moment to admire this guy who just decided honesty was the best policy. Distractify reports that business owner Blake Pemberton won big at a Queensland horse race, celebrated heartily and posted a message on FaceBook that read: “I have had a few drinks and cannot make it back into work.”

We can all relate, Blake. Blake runs a pizza parlour, Gaslight, and apologised profusely for the temporary closure of his joint adding, “I realise this is highly unprofessional and I have not taken the decision lightly.” Before, presumably, heading back off to do some shots.

Is there something to be said for being unswervingly honest about what we can or cannot do…?

Here are some excuses other people have attempted, which you could steal:

  • “I am stuck under the bed.” Fat January.
  • “The universe is telling me to take a day off.” Mustn’t ignore the Big Guy.
  • “I poked myself in the eye while combing my hair.” I take personal grooming that seriously.
  • “My cat was stuck inside the dashboard of my car.” It could conceivably happen.
  • I am off to the beach because the doctor says I need more vitamin D.” Better get the doc to provide a note, no?
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