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What your bra says about you

The M&S two pack

Frugal, you are a phenomenal multi-tasker. You love soft Rock (Bon Jovi/Aerosmith/Tina Turner/Springsteen) and you spend every spare summer minute wearing no shoes, mending things, re-reading Jilly Coopers and wondering if you should leave your husband.

Victoria’s Secret padded plunge

You have a Ph.D in Theoretical Geophysics and are currently lecturing on the solidification in turbulent environments including magma chambers and polynyas. Your favourite TV programme is Cash in the Attic and you tell incredibly dirty jokes. You are secretly in touch with your university boyfriend.

Agent Provocateur half-cup

You are a bit addict-y and you love to make jam and go wild-swimming. You like drawing charcoals of swans and trees and you getting up very early so you can watch the sunrise and listen to Carol King. You choose avoidant men.

Rigby & Peller lacy full-cup

Your husband has no idea how many people you’ve slept with. You were his first and you always change the subject if he brings it up. You smoke when he’s away and speak to your siblings on the phone every day.

Wonderbra

You still think it’s 1993. And that you can do the splits.

Underwired flesh-coloured

You have no patience for people who faff about with decision making – if it was up to you, you’d order for everyone whenever you went out for dinner and you’d arrange all your friend’s marriages. You know best about everything. No one would argue with that.

Unwired floral print

You take Valentine’s Day very seriously and buy Christmas presents consistently throughout the year. You are also the only adult you know who still really looks forward to their birthday. You are an uncompromising but enthusiastic dancer and you bake a cake once a week. You don’t like films where no one falls in love.

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