tootsie, dustin hoffman, smiling, subtext, honest subtitles

What we think vs. What we say

You are thinking: The fact is I’m going to end up as a human parasite feeding off the goodwill of my rich friends because I have nothing to show for my life.
You are saying: Renting really suits me.

You are thinking: I’d rather die than agree to this.
You are saying: I’d love to!

You are thinking: Oh right, so this is how I will meet my maker.
You are saying: I’m sure this pain in my elbow is nothing.

You are thinking: I have not been listening to a word you said.
You are saying: How interesting.

You are thinking: Oh, right so this is how I will begin my rapid decline into dementia.
You are saying: How funny, my glasses were on my head this whole time!

You are thinking: I’m so needy. My neediness is out of control. Everyone hates me because of the neediness.
You are saying: Would you mind if I borrowed a jumper?

You are thinking: I can totally relate to that.
You are saying: Can you believe Kanye West made his assistant iron the carpet in his dressing room because it was ‘too bumpy’?

You are thinking: Oh right, so you WANT me to kill you.
You are saying: Actually, despite what you say, I think perhaps full moon *is* a thing, maybe…

You are thinking: Ocado delivery. The Handmaid’s Tale. Night Nurse.
You are saying: I think my dream night would be dinner with all my friends at The Ned.

You are thinking: FaceTune. Blatantly.
You are saying: You look gorgeous in that Instagram post!

You are thinking: Kid’s still got it.
You are saying: I probably can’t get away with a dress this short, can I?

You are thinking: Please cancel, please cancel, please cancel.
You are saying: Thanks for confirming tonight, so looking forward to it.

You are thinking: I want you.
You are saying: No bread for me thanks.

You are thinking: The best relationship of my life.
You are saying: Deliveroo will be here in fifteen minutes.

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