janet leigh, psycho, driving, car, speeding

Warning to all speed demons

You will never have done this obviously. But let’s just imagine. You are running extremely late. All that unsatisfying scrolling through Instagram has made you late again. Or the traffic was solid but now the road is as clear as Jake Gyllenhaal’s blue eyes. Maybe the windscreen was iced-up and you had run out of screen wash so you had to sit there for ten minutes blasting lukewarm air to try and defrost it and, even so, you still started driving with pretty much no visibility, peering through a fifty-pence-sized gap in the ice. Anyway, you accelerate in order to gain a bit of time. Because time is so precious. Here’s a thought: Being on time has just got crazy expensive. News just in, from the BBC, tells us that speeding fines will rise horrifically after a review of sentencing guidelines for magistrates’ courts.

A driver caught doing 41mph in a 20mph zone, or 101mph on a motorway, could be fined 150% of their weekly income. Hopefully you have no reason to know this but the current limit for a speeding fine is already 100% of the driver’s weekly wage, capped at £1,000 – or £2,500 if you are caught on a motorway. When the new guidelines come into force on 24th April, magistrates will be able to increase the fine to 150% – although the upper cash limit will stay the same.

So next time you are finally free of the terrible traffic torture that is Boris Johnson’s legacy and your foot twitches on the pedal or you have five minutes to get to your divorce mediation and you are 10 minutes away and you don’t want to look like the irresponsible one because he is the dick, not you, think twice. Because you cannot afford 150%. Also it’s bad to speed. We have to say that.

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