about What are your triggers?

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This topic contains 12 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by Misholl 1 year ago.

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    The Midult

    What sets you off and how do you handle it?


    People taking ages to respond to texts
    Hauntings at 3am from being dissed in the past, bullied or humiliated.
    Money and who controls it in my life


    Anybody ‘being mean’ to me (whether real or imagined), could be an odd look from someone, being overlooked at the shop till, and perceived slight, sets me into a whirl of panic and distress, plunges me down into a black hole of dispair and ends in tears.


    Health worries. Every time I get a twinge in my legs I think that it’s the start of a muscular spasm that I used to get. The pain was so bad that if there had been a gun on the table when they happened that I would have put myself out of my misery. I’m petrified now at every twinge even though I’m on meds for them.


    Health stuff too for me. A twinge, flutter and i think it’s my irregular me heartbeat and I will faint or fit. That’s never actually happened! Also if I overthink or catastrophic think. I get the physical collywobbles. It’s totally ridiculous!


    Family issues… I think we all have some?


    Thinking people don’t like me, allowing people to take advantage of me and therefore being a people pleaser


    This comment has been reported as unMidultlike

    Sincere apologies to Clarabella22, whilst scrolling the page I accidentally touched the report sign and the message about your comment being unmidult like appeared. So so sorry, now here’s a classic case of giving someone anxiety


    It can sometimes be something so insignificant that normally it wouldn’t bother me but sometimes it can just set me off again


    Postman arriving with brown official looking envelopes…..HMRC! They have fecked up my tax returns so bad these envelopes with demands keep coming. I owe them nothing but will they listen when you eventually get through to them….hell no! So these brown envelopes keep coming and my stomach churns😣


    Health, chest pain, a twinge, pain somewhere in my creaky ageing body 😆hearing about mums my age who have suffered X y z, always makes me question my own mortality….


    Any slights that make me feel like a weak or bad mum. But I’m becoming more aware of these buttons (the result of a dysfunctional childhood, I always thought, but lots of my playground peers seem to share similar complexes, so maybe it’s also part of being a mum?) and learning to live with the emotions that are triggered whenever they’re pushed. And as time goes on, I’m finding that, even if the emotions can be a pain, I have a little more say in how far or often the buttons are pushed. But, it’s hard work. I’m having to challenge the beliefs the created the buttons, to accept the emotions and the thoughts that come with them (accept doesn’t mean believe) and to take charge of the situation by not taking things personally (even if someone is being incredibly insensitive/rude, in taking it personally and reacting in the heat of the moment, I give them power over my emotions). Taking responsibility for myself is one of the hardest lessons. I’m taking it one small step at a time, trying to keep that aim in sight. But sometimes I’m like: Why can’t I just wake up one day and be zen!


    Back stabbing females ……. grown women acting like 13 year olds instead of acting their age. That really sets me off and ruins my day. Would think at 50 the whole mess would stop. Just typing this and thinking about how stupid the situations can be at work….well it sets me off. Zen??? Yes please.


    Used to be my phone/emails/letters during my divorce after suffering domestic abuse. Doesn’t affect me now. Instead, it’s the family not listening for the billionth time, sometimes even too much choice when I first get up, for instance, “should I go out or do the housework first, morning is ticking by, day wasted… ” and I’ll actually watch the morning tick by and waste a day feeling stuck over it. Sometimes it’s making a decision only for my partner (innocently) suggesting another choice once my decisions made. Changes, these things are sometimes not a problem, sometimes works in my favour and I fly through tasks and am super productive, other times paralyses me. Nightmare.

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