about Choosing to be childfree?

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This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Jonesy138 1 month ago.

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    The daily panic about whether to have children, or adopt, or remain childfree and break your husbands heart! And the lack of narrative about being childfree in a world swamped by the ‘living the dream/social media mums’… Anyone else in need of a childfree role model to make it all okay? When you are 38 and have been married for a few years then the pressure feels relentless.

    Loopy Loo

    38 and having made the active decision not to have children. Just not maternal and hubby feels the same. Raising kids I s probably the most important thing you’ll ever do and we don’t believe you should do it half-heartedly. Men are generally cool with this but other women??? Wow!! I’ve lost count of the ‘your time will come’, ‘maybe you’ve not met the right man’ (how insulting for my other half?!), ‘biological clock’ and other such patronising platitudes – not to mention the number of people who have asked whether we’ve tried other, non-natural ways of conceiving!! A plea to all other women, we exist – we being women who have made the active decision not to have children. We’re not all career-obsessed alpha women determined to ‘out-macho’ the men, nor are we wanna-be Mums who are inwardly weeping at the sight of your offspring. We’re people who made a different decision, end of. It doesn’t mean you can’t ask us to babysit but it does mean we may be enjoying an adults only holiday in the Maldives…!


    Thanks, Loopy Lou! I totally see the benefits of being child-free! We have decided not to try for one of our own – so next plan is to explore adoption to see if that is for us and if we are suitable. Lots more to talk about at home and not rushing in to anything. But will book a few great holidays in the meantime!


    Wow this is exactly where my life is at. Sometimes I feel like I’m not ready to have kids, I’ve never been maternal, I’m much more of an animal person. My Husband really wants them and I feel like it is just expected of my to change my mind. I feel that a lot of people (that I know especially) have kids because they feel they should. My worry is that I leave it too late and then I can’t (I’m 37) but in all honesty I don’t feel like a grown up, I have a job, house, car, pets etc. so I have responsibilities but I don’t feel grown up enough to have a baby. I’m constantly confused with this battle.

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