blackadder, baldrick, cunning plan, plan, rowan atkinson, plans

Too many plans

The Thursday plan

Need to go out-out? Everyone else is at Burning Man, right (no, but it feels that way)? We can do a late one. We should be doing this once a month. We’ve totally still got it in us. Maybe go dancing. Shots. We can survive the Friday hangover. Yes? Apparently no.

The Instagram detox plan

Today I am not going to spend *checks phone* 22% of my battery on Instagram. Today I am going to read something even if it is just the back of a shampoo bottle on the loo. Maybe I’ll do something more useful instead. *puts phone in a cupboard* *forgets where phone is* *panics for hours* *starts fight* *gets stress headache* Is this even good for me? In what way?

The revenge plan

I am going to show you all. I am going to take over the world. That English teacher at school who said I didn’t read good, the stupid boy in Sixth Form who dumped me for the rich girl, those guys that didn’t give me a pay rise when I BRAVELY asked for one, the people who I just sense (although I have no proof) don’t take me seriously. Vengeance will be mine. *goes back to practicing TED Talk in mirror using hairbrush as microphone*

The hobby plan

I think knitting could be very me. The new me, y’know? Or is knitting a bit over now? Maybe pottery? Or rock climbing? Too much equipment. Also exercise. Needlepoint? I could make witty needlepoint cushions for everyone. Witty bon mots out of tiny coloured thread that will take hours and I will probably go blind like those poor women in the Austen days. But everyone will think I’m so creative.

The new neural pathway plan

This is how I am going to become less anxious/remember more. Change the way I do small things, by creating new neural pathways and turning myself into *googles cleverest woman in the world* Marilyn vos Savant. So we are talking about using a new route to work, new dry cleaners (what are you MAD?), new desk lunch, new side of the bed, new attitude. New me. Who even am I? *cries*

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