austin powers, dr evil, mini me, second brain, back up

Who doesn’t need a tiny second brain?

Who doesn’t need back up? More battery. A mental boost. Something extra that can just take up the slack. And no we are not talking Alexa or Siri or the app that reminds you when you are about to get your period (although that is very helpful, thank you).

According to a report in New Scientist, a 16-year-old girl from Japan recently had a tumour removed and when the doctors examined it they found a tiny brain growing. And – look away now if you are at ick capacity – “clumps of… hair inside, and a 3-centimetre-wide brain-like structure covered by a thin plate of skull bone.” A whole ‘nother head situation. It even has a name: Teratoma. Which is Greek for ‘monstrous tumour’ but we are calling it a tiny second brain.

Just imagine for a second the possibilities. Maybe your tiny second brain would be good at maths and able to handle confrontation. Or be really accomplished at and even enthusiastic about ironing. Or be able to watch anything involving Donald Trump without shouting. Tiny second brain could be tougher, smarter than you. Be your wing woman. Your better half. Her indoors. Handy.

Obviously no one wants the horror of an ovarian tumour. Or any tumour. But a tiny second brain is titillating? It’s not Artifical Intelligence either. Not a robot in sight. It’s a kind of intellectual, a doppelganger to show up when you can’t be arsed. When you are there in body alone. Because enough with the thinking. That’s what gets us sometimes. All the thinking. And, however horrifying the context, the idea that we could offload some of that is… diverting.

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