The most chronic insomniac here at Midult HQ is currently clutching a book called ‘The Effortless Sleep Method’ and is this minute wandering around chanting affirmations like ‘I am a brilliant sleeper’. Are we obsessed with sleep? Yes. Do we spend half our mental capacity doing sleep maths calculations? Yes. Do we talk and think about sleep more than we talk and think about sex? Absolutely. And is it helping? What do you think?
Recent research is starting to prove that the more we track our sleep, the less we sleep. It is actually detri-MENTAL to your sleep. For one, the pressure to please the algorithm and ace your sleep is like having a headmistress in bed with you, judging how you are getting along. The Science of Us reports that, last year, science writer Ben Sullivan wrote about wearing a sleep tracker. “It became almost impossible for me to fall asleep peacefully because the Fitbit was making me so apprehensive,” he wrote. “Sometimes, I would try to lie perfectly still in order to fool the Fitbit into thinking I was asleep.”
Also Kelly Baron, clinical psychologist at Rush University Medical Center and co-author of a new study, explains that sleep trackers can cause people to “fixate on a number” — calories, steps, or minutes of sleep. You understand sleep maths, don’t you? If I fall asleep now I will have the perfect amount of hours, NOW is my optimum falling asleep time, come on sleep you idiot, oh no I’ve gone past my optimum sleep window, oh help I am sliding down the insomnia hole, why can’t I sleep? *panicstilldawn*
Insomnia? Put it back in its place. It has become too powerful. Insomnia is not the boss of you. It’s just the class bully, puffed-up on attention. Time to stop talking about sleep and start talking about sex again? Oh, go on. LET’S…