kristen wiig, shocked, awkward, break the ice, agonising silence, awkward silence

The awkward silence

Some days conversation flows. You’re on fire. Others, it’s painful. Like cystitis. Awkwardly awkward. Someone tells you about a terrible thing that’s happened to them and your response is weirdly inappropriate (because you were checking your phone/briefly meditating/freaking out about the chin hair you have just located). Cue agonising silence. Fill the gap fill the gap.

Even the smoothest of us have these awkward moments, so here is a helpful Reddit thread. One user asked, “What’s your go-to question to break awkward silences?” So instead of just inwardly chanting, “I am comfortable with this silence, I am comfortable with this silence,” try filling it with one of these:

Anyway, how’s your sex life?

Do you like Huey Lewis and the News?

Isn’t this silence great? We should observe it more often.

Weather is nice (if weather is nice). Weather’s not nice (if weather is not nice).

If zombies attacked right now what’s our plan?

Start chanting “kali ma shakti de!” while slowly making a gripping motion with your hand, moving closer to their chest where their heart would be.

If you had [random amount of money] and had to spend every single penny by tomorrow, what would you buy?

Do you mind if I leave to go and talk to somebody more interesting?

Do you like… cheese?

You like jazz?

Have you heard about Pluto?

Do you think you could taxidermy a jellyfish?

You ever go on the internet? Lots of cool stuff on that internet.

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