technology, fail, iPhone, incorrect password, life

Why technology can suck my dick

You are trying to call a friend. You know they are not on the underground. You know they’re not on a plane. Unless they have died and are now in a coffin that has already been buried, there is no reason why you shouldn’t be able to get through to their phone, so WHY IS IT GOING TO VOICEMAIL? Again, and again, and again????

The printer didn’t work once. You issued it with a straightforward instruction (‘PRINT’) and it didn’t. It wasn’t hungry, it wasn’t tired, it didn’t need its nappy changing. And yes, you bastards, you already checked the ink. There was no reason for it. No reason. The impudence. The bare-faced cheek. THE RAGE.

Technology is not meant to have bad-days. It can’t have moods. It is our slave – 24/7, 365 days a year. No time off permitted. It can’t have ill mothers or children with nits. It doesn’t qualify for annual leave. It has no right to celebrate religious holidays. Your WiFi flashing a light you’ve never seen before is rebellion. Your Sky Plus failing to record is mutiny. The spinning wheel of death on your laptop is a cyber two fingers. Your iPhone, more precious to you than your first born child, must know that if it cracks just because you dropped it and now won’t let you access your emails, this is a betrayal of trust not felt since Julius Caesar was stabbed to death by people he called friends. These machines have got us by the balls. AND THEY KNOW IT.

SHARE! SHARE! SHARE!
Share on FacebookTweet about this on TwitterEmail to someone