kristen wiig, snl, stressed, angry, stress cycle, stress

The stress cycle

So you’ve just been congratulating yourself on how well you’re managing life. Perhaps you’ve just taken the pile of dry cleaning to the dry cleaner’s. Imagine that. Or maybe got those shoes resoled after five years of procrastination and damp feet. Anyway, you’re being really impressive and then – BAM!. And… you’re off:

The Panic

A whoosh of adrenaline. Despite the creeping sense of imminent despair, you feel a bit Famous Five about the whole thing. It will be fine. You are a problem-solver, a trouble-shooter and there is a solution for everything. Sure.

The Self Pity

Seriously though, why you? You try SO hard. You work SO hard. It’s not fair. It’s just not. You sigh, maybe sob, stare at the wall for ages. Cry in the mirror for a moment or two while imagining being filmed.

The Dogged Effort

Despite the ringing in your ears, your mad heartbeat and all the signs suggesting you might be in the middle of a cardiac situation, you try to work with what the universe has sent you. Phone calls in a strangled voice while eating everything nearby. Emails full of fake jolliness typed with trembling fingers. You take up smoking. Not in a fun way.

The Fury

Everything is bollocks. Everyone’s an arsehole. FML.

The Fog

Things get hazy. Slow. There is a sense of calm. Your body is over it. Your mind is fed up. Maybe you’ll just have a nice lie down and look at Instagram. Whatever.

The Surrender

Shit happens. You’re only human. Everything happens for a reason. You’re doing the best you can with the information you have. Also this time you didn’t leave panicky voicemails all over the place. Progress.

The Dawning

You are maybe a little bit crazy. Yup.

The Hangover

Aching glands. Sore head. Bit dehydrated. Feels like you’ve been taking drugs all weekend. You haven’t. Difficult to remember anything. Thank God that’s over (lolz).

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