It’s not that you don’t care about the environment, it’s that you’ve got ten million things on your mind and you don’t always have time to remember that you DO care about the environment. It’s just that you’ve remembered you’ve got five people coming for dinner and you’re running late from work and you didn’t sleep last night (probably because you were worrying about the environment) and you need to swallow the shame of your non-planned shopping excursion plastic bag horror. You fully expect to come back as a strangled swan in your next life as punishment.
Bag for life
You are a lover of lists. And a hoarder. You still have all your schoolbooks and your sticker albums from when you were a child and you meticulously print your photos and put them in albums. You always have your Bag For Life on you because you wouldn’t dream of stepping into a supermarket without your shopping list. Who even does that???
No bag, just pockets
Oh God, no food in the house. Better nip into the supermarket and pick up a lettuce or a block of cheese or – wait, need some more milk, hadn’t thought of that – and some foil. And eggs. Slightly wishing I’d got a basket now, but – hold on, just going to add some blueberries to this Jenga tower. Fine if I wedge it all under my chin and stagger over to the till. 5p for a plastic bag??? Are you having a laugh?? Perfectly capable of carrying it myself, thank you. The avocado can fit in one pocket, the two limes in the other – the rest I’ll just grip tightly. Well done me for saving the environment. Fuck, there go the eggs.
Wheelie shopping bag
You still have toys on your bed and you always use the self-checkout because it’s like playing shops.
You make jam. And you buy 90% of your designer clothes on eBay. You go sailing every summer and have done since you were a child – in fact, this bag is made out of the sails of one of your old boats. It’s immensely hardy and practical – nothing flashy, no slogans, just there to do its job with no fuss – a bit like you.