sad box, autumn, summer, seasonal affective disorder, rain, gloomy, weather

It’s SAD season

The nights, they are a-drawing in. Do we care? Some do. Some don’t cope at all. So here are 10 SADs as we enter sad season:

  1. Seasonal Affective Disorder – Why am I so pale? Why am I so nervous? I DON’T WANT TO GO BACK TO SCHOOL. Oh, that’s right, I left 700 years ago and I’m just really tired
  2. Sausage Aversion Disorder – Stop trying to feed me sausages, just because it’s getting colder.
  3. Social Anxiety Disorder – Too. Loud. Can’t. Hear. Don’t. Want. This.
  4. Serious Anal Dysmorphia – “Exes can be mad but just know I never let them play with my ass… I don’t do that… I stay away from that area all together.” Kanye suffers from it.
  5. Stupid And Destructive – When your brain goes into anxiety overload and you start catastrophising over the smallest things: “I forgot to take my clothes out of the washing machine yesterday, which is probably a sign of early Alzheimers (laughs then stops). Oh my God, I have Alzheimers.”
  6. Severe Alcohol Distrust – “Did I tell everyone I’m not fine at all when I always say that I’m fine so people leave me alone? Did I use the word ‘scared’? I AM NEVER DRINKING AGAIN.” Hangover paranoia is the worst. Trust no one. Particularly yourself.
  7. Sock Abhorrence Disorder – Months and months of free, airy feet exposed to the elements NOW SUFFOCATING.
  8. Sister Adventure Day – Try to make your children speak to each other without using violence. Try to speak to your own sister without using violence. Do something fun! It works for the Kardashians!
  9. Sorrowful Anger Delusion – Just an average day, really.
  10. Short Android Delay – when your children take a break from gaming to actually speak to you/consume food/ask for money.

 

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