I’m done. What happens when you are done? Well, you wake up in the morning and you feel empty. Not empty in a black dog kind of way, nor in a wailing ‘I can’t go on’ way. You are not drowning in the anxiety or the sadness. You are just done. You feel like you’ve got nothing left in the tank. Because you’ve run out of ideas, you’ve run out of juice, you’ve run out of EVERYTHING.
Oh, did I mention you have shit to do? You cannot procrastinate. (What grown-up woman is a procrastinator? If only we had the time to procrastinate. Filling in forms is the clear exception.) You have work to do. People to support. A life to maintain.
Action needs to be taken. Because if you start trying to pour from your empty cup; trying to run on an empty tank? Well, to continue the motor metaphor (motorphor) that I really know nothing about, it does damage to your engine. You cannot go driving on a flat tyre because it hurts the wheels. I’ll probably leave the car stuff now. But this is a temporary and relatively harmless type of empty if you take action. Talk. Take a break. Do something that makes you happy. If you don’t, empty can evolve into a trigger. As in ‘What was the trigger from your…umm….how to put this kindly? Well… your breakdown??‘
So today I woke up empty. And I did what you should do, I got dressed, brushed my teeth, made my bed, went to work and phoned a friend. And said, “I am done.” And we laughed. And immediately my tank started filling up.