- Can anyone hear the ringing? Apparently anxiety gives you tinnitus. So yes you can hear the ringing and yes you are also paranoid.
- Does anyone know where I can get a good swimsuit? Going on holiday is an act of self-care. Buying a new swimsuit is an act of self-harm. Someone help.
- How much coffee is too much coffee? Can you hear blue? It sounds like the sea.
- Is anyone else cold? Is anyone else hot? Repeat ad infinitum.
- Does anyone have a charger? Podcast + Insta-scroll + Facebook + Midult = phone dead after morning commute.
- Where’s my *insert as appropriate*? Some days we amaze ourselves. Other days we put our phones in the bin.
- Who am I going to vote for? But seriously though. Are we going to go tactical? Pointless? Defeatist? We want an opposition not a landslide. Don’t we? Do we?
- How do you take a screenshot again? This little key combo just won’t stay in our brain. It’s holding us back. Isn’t it? *googles how do you take a picture of your computer screen for the hundredth time* *emails intern again*
- Is the universe out to get me? Is it though? Because so far I’ve had three flat tyres, two parking tickets, the loo is leaking, my ceiling is stained, my laptop suffered accidental drowning, I need a root canal, Topshop hates me, I can’t sleep, and I swear someone has spiked my coffee with Night Nurse because it isn’t working.
- Is Mercury in retrograde? (If you are reading this before May 3rd then YES)
- Is it too late to get into Game of Thrones/Line of Duty/*insert as appropriate*? No matter how hard you try there’s always a boxset black hole in your repertoire. Maybe it’s Breaking Bad. Maybe it’s The Sopranos. Either way Midult law dictates that everyone will be talking about the one you haven’t seen.
- How many duvet covers should I have? Is this a thing? Do you need one spare? Two spare? Ditto fitted sheets. Is that enough back-up in case someone (the dog) pees on it.
- Shall we Uber? Then we do the complicated maths – if we both took the tube back and forth from the meeting, paid for parking and congestion charge, how much less is that than Uber plus we can work in the cab. Oh look it’s 2 minutes away.
- Is this good luck or bad luck? I just saw two spiders. Yesterday a black cat ran into the garden. A bird pooed on my hand. Why me? Why now? Why me?
- What should we have for lunch (at 10am)? What should we have for supper (at 11am)?
- Shall I cancel? Can I cancel? Is it OK to cancel? Why don’t you cancel me?
- Do I need botox? If you’ve already had botox: how much botox is too much botox? And… fillers?
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