when harry met sally, meg ryan, sex, orgasm, midult porn, what turns us on

Porn again

You know all about property porn, you’ve probably got Zoopla open right now; it’s your gateway to another world, another life. One with a 70ft garden, or a terrace overlooking the river or a second bathroom. Yes! Yes! Ye….

But what about all the other porn? The other delights we like to indulge in. Like…

Crying-porn

Just going about my business ordering a Deliveroo and watching Terms of Endearment/the one with Meryl Streep and Dustin Hoffman/the one where Julianne Moore gets Alzheimers at 50 FFS and crying and crying and crying. Howling. A great big cleansing wail….Oh God, so good.

Podcast-porn

Look at all the podcasts I subscribe to. I am the queen of the podcasts. I am SO HOT for podcasts. One day I will listen to a podcast all the way through. And then imagine how amazing I will feel…

Insta-porn

There you are lying in bed with your thumb gently stroking… your iPhone screen as you deep dive into Instagram. A deep, deep, drill down. A never-ending, completely-addictive, serotonin-reducing loop, exposing other people’s curated lives. Nearly incredibly satisfying but…. not. Edging. In a way.

Cancel-porn

Cancel me, cancel me, cancel me harder.

Holiday-porn

Where shall I go? Peru? Shall I detox? Or walk the alps? Shall I go solo? Am I too young for a cruise? And once you’ve made a commitment, there’s the hot and heavy foreplay – you probably keep the hotel/hostel/country open on your browser so you can have a quick hit of your hot holiday whenever you want. Thought: Is booking actually the sexiest bit?

Food box-porn

I get Farmdrop, Abel & Cole, HelloFresh and the other one. You can’t get through my front door without grazing your shins on my wonky vegetables and fresh eggs. There’s nothing like a fresh delivery to get me excited about cooking again. What the fuck am I going to do with all these turnips? *sobs*

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