Apparently the current advice from the ‘glowing with health’ brigade is that we should drink at least 3 litres of water a day. Except what Midult in their right mind, rushing from meeting to meeting, lunch to dinner, Uber to tube, trying to sleep through the night without getting up 25 times, would drink 3 litres of water a day?
Maybe it’s just me. Me who got a D in Pure Maths A-level but would A* it out of the park if it was Pee Maths. Me to myself: “If I am going to have to sit with the Marketing team and then Marie from the Paris office (who talks for… France) is going to patch in after 45 minutes, so that’s another half an hour = do not, for fuck’s sake, drink any more water.”
How many times can you just pop to the loo before a meeting becomes a ‘peeting’? Once? Twice? In the meantime you are crossing your legs and doodling furiously and have completely lost focus. You are practically passing out with trying not to go and pee. What are the pee rules these days? What are the acceptable norms for lunches for example? Can you pee once – when you arrive? But what about all the water the waiter keeps filling up your glass with and you don’t notice and you keep drinking. Can you pee at the end as well? In the middle? How many pees is too many pees? Will you forever be branded in corporate circles as ‘that peemale’? Have we come this far only to sacrifice our digni-pee?