isabel marant, ulia, leopard print, sex, dress, expensive

Nothing to wear? The sex dress

We know, we know: it feels highly improbable. The last time you made the beast with two backs was when people called it the beast with two backs. Which was possibly around 753BC.

If you want to have sex, you need a Sex dress. I’m talking about something that screams My Light Is On, as opposed to My Telly is On. Subtle, the Sex Dress ain’t. The Sex Dress needs to suggest – strongly – that you’re frisky. Cleavage? Bring it. Body-con? If that’s your thing. More important than how it looks, though, is how it makes you feel. Whether your own personal Sex Dress is long or short, velvet or chiffon, black or floral, the most important thing is that it makes you feel like a goddess. A horny one.

Expensive

isabel marant, ulia, leopard print, sex, dress, expensive

It’s leopard print, it’s velvet, it’s tactile, it’s figure-hugging and it’s sexy as all hell

Isabel Marant, Ulia Leopard-Print Velvet Dress, £770

Less Expensive

self-portrait, azaelea guipure lace midi dress, sex dress, midult fashion, nothing to wear, less expensive

The peekaboo lace is very seductive, while the pale blue keeps it from looking too tarty

Self-Portrait, Azaelea Guipure Lace Midi Dress, £260

Really Not That Expensive

topshop, wide rib bardot dress, not that expensive, sex dress, nothing to wear

Fluid. Foxy. Almost a sweater dress. And yet absolutely not

Topshop, Wide Rib Bardot Dress, £39

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